Approach God from a place of surrender. Surrendering your entire life removing all bitterness, all preconceived notions and uncertainty. Come with an open heart, seek deeper . If you are true and sincere God will come to you, you just need to be still and wait on the Lord He will come when you are truly truly ready. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Eternal life to gain by a simple total surrender, all glory will break out in your life!